Elizabeth Warren (Pocahontas) Is Running For POTUS In 2020

Elizabeth Warren, the woman who claimed to be 1/16 Cherokee and who built a career off of supposedly being a minority, has announced that she is joining the presidential race in 2020.

Despite what she claimed for 32 years, you may be surprised to find out that when she took a DNA test this last year after Trump repeatedly urged her to do, she was, in fact, not 1/16 Cherokee. No, my fellow Americans, she was merely 1/1024 Cherokee.

That’s right. The woman who built a career off of what turned out to be a lie is actually less Native American than the average white American. Oh, the irony. She recently also conceded by admitting that tribal council and only tribal council can determine tribe citizenship. I guess she magically thinks this will just sweep all of her lying under the table?

I think we should officially change her title to “Pocahontas” as Trump was 1,000% correct about her heritage claims. But is it really any surprise that Pocahontas wants to be Commander and Chief?

All jokes aside, let’s get into why she is a terrible candidate. You know, aside from her lying nature.

So, taking a look at her official campaign website, one of her first promises is to “End Washington Corruption”. She speaks of how the “wealthy and well-connected” run Washington and how she is going to put an end to “lobbying as we know it”.

First of all, I find it interesting how Pocahontas has a supposed dedication to ending Washington corruption when she herself has attended numerous parties and various social gatherings hosted by well known Wall Street millionaires. Is she going to reference her own ties to corruption? Or how about herself being one of those many “wealthy and well-connected” people that supposedly run our capital? That, I sincerely doubt.

Secondly, I concede that we should not allow foreign governments to hire Washington lobbyists but, she is literally advocating for more government control over lobbyists. That is essentially the government being able to control and monitor the people who tell it what to do.

Is it really surprising though? After all, despite the Democratic party’s constant claims to be against corruption and government power, they seem to be oblivious that their “solutions” to these problems involve giving the very thing they claim to be against, significantly more power and control.
Elizabeth Warren also claims want to “Rebuild” the Middle Class. You know, as if the economy, and by extension, the Middle Class, isn’t already doing the best it’s done in decades? Trump’s tax cuts, his renegotiation of various unfair trade deals, his gutting of over-zealous regulation of business, and his various cutbacks on Obamacare have put the economy in a better place than it has been in for decades.

In fact, in his State of the Union Address, he mentioned many amazing statistics. First, the U.S. economy is growing at double the speed it was when he took office. Secondly, wages are the highest they’ve been in years. Thirdly, drug prices and taxes have drastically declined. Fourthly, minority unemployment is at a record low and nearly 157 million people (that’s almost HALF the country) is employed. Also, she claims that people of color have been “shut out of their chance to build wealth” which is quite hilarious considering the statistics I just mentioned. And lastly, we are, for the first time since the 1960’s, a net exporter of energy and we are also the number 1 producer of oil and natural gas in the world.

I have no idea what Elizabeth “Redistribute Wealth” Warren could possibly do to improve our economy at this point except, of course, to stay the hell out and let Trump and his administration keep doing their jobs.
However, as crazy as Elizabeth Warren is, we conservatives need to keep an eye on her. A lot of moderates and independents could be swayed her way as she isn’t quite as far-left as people like AOC and Kamala Harris. Keep a close eye on miss Pocahontas over here, folks. She may just yet prove to be yet another challenge we have to overcome.

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